How to lose the match effectively!

5 days and 14 dropped catches n' a missed stumping! Do you want to win after doing this??

No ... we didn't want to win this match. GOD only knows why!! (I am referring to Almighty here and not GOD of India cricket Mr. SRT)

Here are few experts from the interviews of Indian players after the match courtesy PNN. They have highlighted their skills which made us lose all important test. What a show!

Wasim Jaffer : I had made hundred at Nagpur and had played long enough for England team to understand my weakness. I am a bit weak at incoming delivery if I play it from the back foot. They bowled a bouncer at me in Mohali second innings and next one was incoming! After a bouncer I decided to be on back foot and played the incoming bowl with my pads as usual and got out. So in the final test at Mumbai, first I got out to the bouncer in the first innings as I knew I'll be gone to the next delivery which must be incoming. As I survived the bouncer in the second innings, I decided to fall to incoming delivery next up in the second inning! Still I guess I have cemented my place in the team.

Irfan Pathan : People are calling me all rounder. But I don't believe that! Just to prove me, I have slowed down my pace in the bowling. Also got out to the false shot in the first innings when it was crucial for me to stay at the wicket. I hate to open. So I dragged one full toss on to the stumps in the second innings. Good job you see!

Sachin Tendulkar : I think I should take some rest. No further comments!

Yuvraj Singh : Why am I always supposed to hit a century in a test match which we lose! It has happened 2 years back in Pak and they didn't take me in the team afterwards. This year also I hit a century in a match and we had lost it. So this time I decided to get out cheaply! Also I had a date with Kim in the evening!

Virender Sehwag : Back pain you see! Also my mother didn't call me when I was batting (?) urrr.. padding! I had dropped only one catch as I could not get more chance to drop them being not on the field most of the time in this test match. I wanted to get out on the first delivery in the second innings, so I offered pads straight away to the first delivery which I think was on the stumps. But Simon Taufel didn't think so. (Stupid man...why he wants to be correct all the time!) Then after padding 15 balls, Anderson managed to bowl one on the stumps and I immediately took it on my pads to get leg before decision. Thanks to my mother she didn't call me while I was on the field, else you would have seen a different result! So all credit goes to her!

Mahendra Singh Dhoni : I had dropped 5 catches and missed one stumping. My best performance so far behind the wicket! I played one non existing shot on the first ball and they dropped my catch. I thought they wanted to give me 6 chances. So I decided to play the same attacking shot on the slowing pitch in the same over. But this time, they cheated and grabbed that catch. I guess they will give me my remaining 5 chances in One days! (Laughs)

Harbhajan Singh : I have been performing pathetically for last 4-5 tests. I was thinking that I will be dumped for this test. But they took me in playing 11 instead of poor VVS. Now you know I am not in good form with bowl. So how can you expect me to get through England batting line up or bat like VVS? This is quite unfair to me! Also .... (blah blah blah )
When we told Bhajji that his time is up, he stopped talking instantaneously, without forgetting to conclude with two words : "Thank You!".

Rahul Dravid : 5 bowlers first mistake. Giving England batting second mistake. I guess I am still learning how to captain this side! But all credit goes to Fredie and his boys .... (Then all his diplomatic words for English Team.)

We tried to contact England team, but they were so busy with the celebrations that we could not get hold of them. PNN team heard that England guys have decided to visit West Bengal where people have already started a grand celebration!